My Lameness

?   The sad side.

Humanism..

I feel like I’m a terrible human being…that I can’t do anything right and that I’m nothing but a burden…I don’t know what to do sometimes, how to change myself or if its necessary…I’ve always felt like I’m waiting on a moment but how applicable is that?? Why can’t we all just try to be happy, what do you want from me???  We are all drained, So tired and there is no time to sleep…

— 1 year ago
Here we go!

Bam, and my mind explodes with realizations! Good ones, Direction! The evolution will come naturally, as long as I keep pushing it. I don’t know what to do, or how I’m going to do it, all I know is, don’t stop doing it. I’ve reached many a quit point but it never feels right, I know where I see myself. Getting there is really all about timing. Things will happen when they need to, for now I need to get myself back into the game. I need my dedicated 2-4 hours a day, I need to lock myself away with my instruments. Its time to break out of another box. I will find that sound….I will find my sound….I will achieve my vision…

— 2 years ago
Slowly…drifting…

Disconnect…reconnect…no connect…No connect. O well one day?

Losing your mind feels good…anyone else feel this way??? Does any one person understand what I’m going through?? Most of my ideas and thoughts are tossed a side these days, I am the one who knows nothing. Well ya… Maybe if more people came to terms with that then our egos wouldn’t be so big. Socialization for all of you is like some kind of necessity, and sometimes it feels like a crime if you don’t participate. Maybe if you swam around in my brain for a while you could see. What I’ve been learning is all of you. I’ve watched all your details, I pay attention to everything. What you get is such a tip of the iceberg. When you are ready for the truth I won’t be here. Sorry. You can’t expect me to wait around for minds to evolve all my life???? This is the lonely path, trying to get your peers to attain your mental level is nothing but disappointment. Every girl I’ve ever been into has not had the mentals that i want, I see potential for them to open up, this is the major attraction…seeing light in someones eyes…This is the attraction, but what I’ve learned from it is disappointment, because as much light as I can see, they don’t see mine…or are aware of what that is…When you all wake up, I won’t be here.

— 2 years ago
Fuck the city

I gotta get back to where I belong. Mountain life. Everything about that life is calling me right now. Lack of people, positive energy, people who have their heads screwed on (haha most of them {old hippy boarder}), beauty, and best of all a motivation to get up out of bed every day.

Thanks for an amazing weekend boys- Gnar, Chill, Pow- Your bro is always here ;).

— 2 years ago
Oh, I’m Sorry…

You’re too cool for love.
But don’t worry, I’m just running a temperature.
Happiness is for Amateurs. 

— 2 years ago
Damiana ;)

Damiana ;)

— 2 years ago
drunk…

I always feel so sad after drinking…even if i had a good “night”…how do you people do it?? its pretty fucking stupid… And yes I have been doing a bit a drugs…yes it kills pain….temporarily….Its nice to feel numb every once in while…no excuses…I get depressed and i fill the void with a substance…diagnose me….you’re already wrong….My death heals no one….thank you…but I asked about my connection. This is more important to me than anything, where is my connection.

— 2 years ago
Major Dream.

Sooooooo Many ships, All kinds Everywhere. Starting to feel nervous. Amazing.

— 2 years ago
You know the Rules.

Broke my own rules. After Years of really standing by them, once again emotion takes over. Every fucking time, It started out with the destruction theory, then moved on to the rebuild. Destruction was brutal…i gave that up asap, humans can’t rebuild themselves when opened up to certain knowledges, harsh lesson. The Rebuild worked a lot better, but the ego would inflate so much that the reversal was way worse that the original state. The only answer was to shut up. Keep the infos inside only expose them when you can clearly see they are ready for it. Well, where that ended up was silence time spent alone, greater self understanding. I’ve spent so much time learning about myself that, to see how no one else knows themselves is devastating. Still just the other day I pointed out someones mental complex, and ISSUE central, they had never realized this….or actualized it…bam a little less happy. Because that’s where this leads, a lot of sadness. So remember your rules, they are there for a reason, remember your questions, remember how to figure someone out, don’t let your emotions get involved because they are fucked in us, keep distance, don’t let the wrong ones in, no one understands, until you feel someone actually does don’t let yourself get ahead. never ever ever ever again. Trust in yourself our soul connection is coming and it will be beautiful when it comes. An explosion of light and energy! This world doesn’t believe in these things, when it happens the change will begin.

— 2 years ago
I am, What I am.

Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. Accept Yourself. 

— 2 years ago
Well…

Still Pissed about everything…In a sense… You know those angry world emotions….At least I’m in a good mood =)…but seriously, Loneliness complex: I like to be alone, but I don’t want to be. I like to because no one gets me, I don’t want to be because I wish someone did.

— 2 years ago